New Adventures

I love new adventures!!! I leave Monday with 54 other individuals to go on a missions trip to Myrtle Beach! I am so excited, but this isn't an average trip for me, because I am responsible for these students and other leaders. I have the honor of co-leading 25 of them.

I haven't felt well today so I have been in bed most of the day trying to recuperate. But as I have been confined to being still today I am thinking about the trip and what makes a good leader. I am reminded that a good leader doesn't just let things happen, but they lead (hence the name). Yes, they direct, plan and execute their plan to accomplish a goal. So, I have been thinking about our goal. The phrase/words that keep coming to mind are , "nothing is impossible". I am SO excited that I have the opportunity to lead 6th and 7th graders, because I think they are simply incredible and I want them to know that with God, truly "all things are possible." Because that is who we serve. The verse that stood out to me for our trip was Ephesians 3:20-21.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen."

God, I want so badly that these students catch the vision that you are who you say you are and that you can do what you say you can do. I want the students to dream big. I want to challenge them to pray for something and truly believe for it. Lord, I have seen you do incredible miracles in my life and I have seen it in others. And as these students are in what I like to think as an incubator, I want them to stretch their faith so that they will always have this as a milestone to look back on and be amazed at who you are and what you can truly do in their lives.

Thank you God. I am expecting this and I am so excited! I personally am expecting to see unity on our team that I never dreamt possible. Lord, take us through challenging circumstances that will bring us together, and I pray that we would not fail, but instead thrive!

I am expecting to see these teenagers lives completely turned around. That they will not return the same next Monday.

I am expecting to see atmospheres totally change in Myrtle Beach because we have been there with a clear mission to pray, intercede and let your light shine through our lives. I thank you that we have the opportunity to fulfill the great commission by being a light, a city on a hill and to bring the word to other cities.

I am expecting these students to build relationships with one another that go far beyond school work and class time. But these students are forever brothers and sisters in Christ and we choose to honor and love our brothers and sisters in the Lord. We will put one another first, and not ourselves.

Lord, I expect you to do great things through us, because we are available and we say, Lord, have your way! Your Kingdom come, and your will be done in Jesus name!!!

Shock Wave

Have you ever been separated from something or someone for so long that your time away made you a different person, but when reunited you were overwhelmed because the nature of what had been absent in your life was so different than the life you willingly chose?

I can think of many examples... friends, a loved one...

For me tonight, it wasn't a person, but a thing... the television.

I have gone without a television for so long that I don't even think about it, but tonight I watched one for 5 straight hours. And it took so much of my time and energy away. When sitting there, all I thought about were the constant messages being put out from the screen. I really think we should call them message boxes.... because that is what they are... a box that constantly delivers messages.

The thing is... as a Christian, I don't want all those messages in my mind...

yeah. Oh, Superbowl Sunday.

Beautiful Things

I recently heard a song "Beautiful Things" by the Michael Gungor Band. It mesmerized me, probably not the song itself, but the message... though I did like the guy's voice and the tones in the song.

So here it is:

"You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust, you make beautiful things out of us."

Oh, Amen. Where would I be, if God didn't create beauty from my mess. I ahve so meany of them, and so many that I am ashamed of...

But GOd spoke a powerful word to me. First of all, I realized what a hypocrite I have been to some people... "I heard a testimony of a man who said, 'I am living a lie.'" I thought over his words and didn't take long to look into my heart to have to face the reality that I have been living a lie. I have been so focused on rules and regulations... of course I would say "in the name of love" and apply them to those around me. The worst part is that I realized I am pushing this judgment on others, because thats how I feel... judged.

I sat there in church desperately wanting to leave and find a dark space to just lay prostrate, cry and repent. But, I knew the Holy Spirit said:

stay. I want you to hear this message.

It wasn't long after that I felt the holy spirit whisper to me,

Daughter, you haven't fully received my love for yourself and my grace for yourself, so you aren't extending it to others.

Oh, that was a relief, but I didn't understand why I hadn't received that love... And then Pastor spoke on the hard things that happen in life... death, disease, sickness, all those things that Satan loves:

John 10:10 says, "satan came to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that they might have life and have it more abundantly."

So, here's the recap: Things happen, we can't control them... But God uses those things to make beauty come from it. He is so creative and has such good intent that he loves to watch flowers bloom, knowing full well that they are so fragile... yet he still creates them and millions of them in fact.

Our God Reigns, Holy, wonderful, peaceful, loving Creator.

To you alone be glory and honor and praise. Forever and forever. Amen.

Alive Again

I am listening to the song "Alive Again" by Matt Maher. I feel like its definitely appropriate for this morning. I have been listening to the song all week, but last night was Halloween. I am not a fan of Halloween... even in the slightest.

I worked last night at the mall and I had to walk out and trust this guy who I had never met to take me to my car. Praise God he did just that and everything was fine. Thankfully my mom called me just as we were walking to his car. I am so glad that I have a constant advocate for life...the Holy Spirit. : ) Yes, He goes with me whereever I go.

So... I was trying to fall asleep last night around 11:30 and I hear these low angry shouts coming from the neighbors and then high picthed yells following. I couldn't quite make out what was happening, but I got up to check it out. Through the blinds I could see a man on the ground and 4 guys kicking him in the stomach, yelling at him and beating him up. I ran to Christina's room to tell her that someone was getting severely beaten in the front yard next to us. She got up and told me to call the police. Well, we didn't know the number for the police so we called 911.

They were having a hard time hearing me on the phone and we were still watching what was happening. About 10-15 people were involved just standing around in the front yard. The police man asked if there were any weapons. I told him we didn't see any. The police officer was really agitated. He asked me if we wanted to see a police officer and I asked if he could hold a moment so I look better at the situation, but he became mad and told me that this was an emergency line and I needed to make a decision on what to do. It was intense. I eventually told him that we just wanted to report what we saw since the fight had broken up as I was talking on the phone.

Yeah... that wasn't your typical night. Oh, and in the midst of all of that I had run to grab my cell phone and tripped over something. It hurt pretty bad, but there was so much happening that I didn't even think about it. After the commotion was over I got back into bed and laid there praying and trying to fall back asleep. It was then that I noticed my foot was throbbing. I figured I must have whacked it pretty good and I tried to ignore it. Eventually though I leaned down to touch my foot and realized my part of my sock was soaked in blood. Obviously I hurt it worse than I thought. I gashed open my foot and bruised it pretty bad. It amazes me how you can respond to situations with priority and not even realize that you are bleeding pretty badly.

Family

Update time: I have been learning so much about what I want my family to look like someday, and how that is possible. True... much of it does center around the man in the home, the husband, the father, but more importantly the priest of the house. He is such an integral part on every level. I realize I am not a man, but at least now I have clarity in what I am actually hoping to marry. I don't expect my husband to be super man, because I am human and I am full of mistakes, past regrets, hurts and failures... but God. He is faithful to forgive us from all our sin and he heals us so gently. : ) No, I don't expect perfection, but now I know what we are striving for.

I desire to be a mom above most everything else in this life save a faithful follower of our Lord Jesus Christ.

To God be all the glory. Amen.

Faithful...fruit

So, I had been thinking this week that its my week to buy groceries and I really need to pick up some fruit among other things, but really I thought we just need some more fruit. Then I thought about how I don't have a job after a few days and it made me think... okay this season may be difficult. I need grocery money and I would like to not have to tap into my savings.

Well... I came into work today and wouldn't you know... in pops this older lady to pick up her pedometer which she left in our office, but she also came bearing a grocery sack full of fresh fruit! : ) Oh what a blessing! I love fresh fruit and I really love it when I know its been home grown! She brought it from her garden! Father! You are so good to me! I know that this was from you! There were cherries, blackberries, grapes, tomatoes, an apple and an orange! Lord, those are also items that I would have never bought at a time like this... if ever! Thank you.

You are reminding me all the time that you are taking care of me! : )

Love your daughter.

I am oh so grateful for your constant reminder of your goodness towards me!

Price Tag

You can't put a price tag on a moment. And you can't put a price tag on a person.

So... what if I lived this horrible life and I didn't lead anyone but one precious soul to the Lord. Is that soul a waste? Absolutely not.

I have been frustrated with myself after diving deeper into life. I have taken a good hard look at my life, and I realize I have made it all about me for too long. What do I have to show for it? How many lives have I really lead to the Lord?

I am so grateful that I am only 23, but in looking back on the last 23 years, I am wondering... how much more could I have done, how much more could I have loved, worshipped and served my Creator. Have I brought Him as much glory as I could have?

Don't get me wrong, I am so glad that I am only 23 because I am believing that have a full life ahead of me. But I can't take that for granted. what if I don't? What if I leave this earth tomorrow? Will I be satisifed?

God, I declare that from here on out, you are my priority unlike ever before. I commit my life to you... to knowing you and making you known. To bring you glory!

I am also grateful that when I look in the rear view mirror I do see people's lives that I have been a part of and I believe that the impact has been good. Oh God, from here on out, I pray that I will have maximum impact and that it will be so good.

All to you. This is dying to myself. I had a great epiphany today about life... the Bible wasn't written about me. yeah go figure. You would think that I would have concurred this one by now. But I haven't. I mean, I still want the attention when playing a game. I still dress up to impress people so that I look good. I still hope that at the end of a conversation people will think about me. I still interject things into conversation so that I will be remembered and so people will have a favorable jugement of me.

Lord, even as I write this... I am grossly aware of what my real priorites have been in the past. me. Yes, its been about me. God, I am sorry. You are the creator of the Universe, not me. You are the one who created me and the one who gives life to all.

When was the last time I tried to interject something into a conversation to simply make sure that you were represented well or were given a favorable judgement? Lord, I need your forgiveness. thats all I have to say. I am sorry.

You are better than life itself. Literally.