Monday, June 6, 2011

More Changes

I went to catch up with a friend over coffee tonight... which is one reason I am writing this post at 12:00am in the morning... I'm not tired at all, but I have to be up for work in 6 hours. Dang caffeine. You would think that by now as a grown woman I would heed the warnings I am giving myself as I order coffee, knowing fully that my body is super sensitive to such drinks.

Anyway, so lots has changed since I last wrote. I took the LSAT today in order to apply for law school. A big change in my life that I didn't see coming at all. Until 3 months ago, I would have never considered attending law school or pursuing anything remotely similar. But then again, life is not always what you expect it to be.

Back in January I desperately wanted to pursue a mentor, so I did. I had been thinking about a couple at my church that teaches financial peace classes and I knew that this couple was married, passionately in love with God, practical, disciplined, and those were all qualities that I was looking for in a mentor. So, I excitedly called them after thinking about it for probably two months. I garnered up all the courage that I had to meet them at a small deli in the area. They told me that I would probably be the only one to come, which I leaped for joy on the inside because I seriously wanted some one on one attention.

SIDE NOTE: This generation is SUPER hungry for mentors, whether we talk about it or not.

Okay, back to the story... so I met them at a deli with full intentions and hopes that these people would be willing to let me in their lives, because I really wanted some raw, real advice about life. I have at least figured out that the verse which says, "to be wise you must walk with the wise, " is definitely true. Needless to say, whether these people knew it or not, I was freaking out in my car on the way over, coaxing myself and reassuring myself that it was a good idea to be vulnerable.

So, when I got there, I did just that. They asked me about my life and I didn't hold back. I told them my hopes, dreams, aspirations, faults, and my present situation. They were great and I was super grateful for their loving response. Many circumstances kept us from meeting until 2 months later. So, come March I was ready to go over in detail my budget with this sweet couple. But, God obviously had other plans.

The wife of the couple graciously told me that she was so excited about our first meeting that she had discussed my life with several individuals since that time. I was quite shocked by this, but certainly overjoyed that she had taken such an interest in me. She continued to tell me that with what I wanted to pursue and with the dreams that God has placed in my heart that I really need to continue my eduation by either pursuing my MBA or going to law school. Now, getting my masters in some field was not a foreign idea. In fact, I had been thinking a great deal about continuing my education, but I had always said that I would not go back to school unless I knew exactly what I wanted to do and had a plan, because I don't want to aimlessly spend money or time.

With that said, I was not against the idea of going back to school, but I was definitely against the idea of being an attorney. My first reaction was like vomit coming from my mouth without any hesitation... I immediately exclaimed, "Law school!?! I hate attorneys! First of all, I would never make any money, because I would probably do everything pro-bono. And what would I do? I know, I would be an international trafficking victims attorney. Ha!"

But all of this rolled off my tongue so easily that I wondered who exactly was speaking. And after that night I couldn't stop thinking about what she had suggested and even more so, my response... an international trafficking victims attorney.

So, for the next couple weeks I ran into people who were either planning to attend law school or the like and I found myself asking all kinds of questions. I once again shocked myself by my own level of inquiry.

Needless to say, after much thought, prayer, some fasting and a lot of counsel, I decided to take the LSAT to go to law school. Everything has happened so fast. I never thought that I would be here. I really have never had a desire to be an attorney. I love the idea though of standing up for those who cannot speak for themselves. I love the idea of having an impact on our justice system and working with organizations in order to make sure that our laws our ready to enact justice.

On that note, I had an important conversation with my cousin years back regarding government's role in enacting justice especially for those of us who are Christians. I had been internally struggling with the notion that God is forgiving, so why shouldn't we extend that mercy to others. This may be common sense to some, but until I heard it aloud I hadn't fully grasped my stance on the issue. Yes, God is a forgiving God. He forgave me. But the government's role is not to give mercy, but instead establish justice. Often times, people will finally confront the sin in their life when they encounter certain repercussions for those actions. This in turn may be the most gracious notion that an individual will receive as sin separates us from God, and separation from God is damnation forever.

Monday, February 21, 2011

New Season

Ready or not, here it comes... A new season that is...

I turned 25 today or a quarter of century, however you want to look at it. It's crazy to think about. But more importantly, I found out today that a dear dear friend is moving away.

I remember being at her wedding and she knew that she and her husband would be living in a different city than anybody else and I could tell it was a heavy load to bear. I wanted so much to say that I'm here for you, but i couldn't bring myself to say it, because I told God.... I would never say something like that unless I could truly stand next to her through all that God would take her. Well... I remember the prompting of Holy Spirit to encourage her in this specific way, I was taken back because I knew that if God wanted me to say something like that, it would only be because I could mean it... and mean it I did. God opened up a door for me to work in the same city.

For these past 3 years, my heart has become so close to hers. She is so dear and so precious to me that I cannot explain it. I know that God is faithful and that he has a beautiful plan for each of us. It will be so hard to let go of such a close friendship. I know that our friendship will not end, but I will certainly miss seeing her every Tuesday, every other Monday, every Saturday night, random Fridays, occasional lunches and even more sporadic sleep overs.

I also know that as God moves them into a new season that He is also moving me into a new season. This couple was the closest thing i had to family in this city. I am so grateful for their love, encouragement, grace, laughter, tears, and friendship. But just as the Lord is faithful, I know that He would not let me or my friends stay in place of contentment if He knew that a new season and place would be better, even if it wasn't easy. I know this transition for them may be difficult and extremely trying but the end result will be more beautiful than they could ever imagine... for both of us.

I look forward to the day that we can look back and smile so big realizing that this transition was so necessary for God to do the incredible things that took place in our lives.

In the meantime, I choose to trust my Creator who loves me and has a master plan in place to orchestrate me life. How comforting... : )


Friday, November 19, 2010

Focused Thoughts

I have currently been reading from Tom Minnery's "Why you can't stay silent." I read tonight about Wesley and William Booth. They each suffered greatly for the gospel, but they had a part in changing their culture because they knew the truth and they knew they had to share it.

Booth and Wesley are obvious examples of people who stood up for truth, but I really love the more obscure examples like Tom Wilson...a Vermont farmer moved by his convictions concerning God's plan for marriage. He called up some friends and they had a meeting with seven neighbors, but that grew to hundreds, than thousands and lead by the church leaders to preserve the culture.

The premise of Minnery's book is that as Christians we are called to be salt and light in our world. It is not enough to just disagree silently, you must talk about it and take Biblical stands publicly, because this is what preserves our culture.

Excited to read on...

Friday, September 24, 2010

Eternal Thinking

Unfortunately due to my culture I sometimes find myself thinking in one liners to post on facebook... a sad reality, but true nonetheless.

The latest would look something like this....

"I find I'm not so selfish when my thoughts are focused on eternal things."

When I find myself down about something its usually because I haven't applied eternal thinking. I have personally seen this verse lived out in my life: Seek first the Kingdom of God his righteous and all these things shall be added.

Delight yourself in the Lord and HE willl give you the desires of your heart.

Friday, July 23, 2010

For the Good

It's amazing how trials can bring out the best. James wasn't kidding when he said "consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds." He obviously got the understanding that it is only through trials that we truly grow.

Here lately life hasn't turned out quite like I expected. So I had a choice to make... I could either get upset, doubt God, take offense, harbor bitterness or I can step on top of the mess and choose to love God anyway.

I was going through life recently and as I was getting out of my car I started mumbling to myself. To be honest, I don't even remember what I was debating in my head, but I was definitely weighing which thought pattern I was going to take. My choices were pretty clear in front of me. One good option or one shallow option. I thought for a second and then stopped in my tracks and stated out loud.

"No. You know what satan... that is a stupid idea."

I knew the bad option would be right up his alley. So I reminded him...

"Why would I ever listen to you? You, hate me and God loves me. Of course I am going to take His path, because I know that all you want to do to me is kill me, steal from me and destroy me. "

As soon as I said this out loud everything became so clear. There was no battle anymore. I think when we realize how much God loves us, it doesn't matter how hard the road is that He has for us, we will follow. I mean who ever follows someone that despises them, especially when the other option is to follow someone who loves us intensely.

This song has been my theme song lately. My declaration each morning:

Verse 1:
Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes, but
You have new mercy for me everyday
Your love never fails

Chorus:
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night
But joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don’t have to be afraid
Because I know that you love me
And your love never fails

Verse 2:
The wind is strong and the water’s deep, but
I’m not alone here in these open seas
Cause your love never fails

The chasm was far too wide
I never thought I’d reach the other side
But your love never fails



I love that no matter what we go through, God chooses to use it for our good - simply because we love Him! : )
Bridge: You make all things, work together for my good

Saturday, March 13, 2010

New Adventures

I love new adventures!!! I leave Monday with 54 other individuals to go on a missions trip to Myrtle Beach! I am so excited, but this isn't an average trip for me, because I am responsible for these students and other leaders. I have the honor of co-leading 25 of them.

I haven't felt well today so I have been in bed most of the day trying to recuperate. But as I have been confined to being still today I am thinking about the trip and what makes a good leader. I am reminded that a good leader doesn't just let things happen, but they lead (hence the name). Yes, they direct, plan and execute their plan to accomplish a goal. So, I have been thinking about our goal. The phrase/words that keep coming to mind are , "nothing is impossible". I am SO excited that I have the opportunity to lead 6th and 7th graders, because I think they are simply incredible and I want them to know that with God, truly "all things are possible." Because that is who we serve. The verse that stood out to me for our trip was Ephesians 3:20-21.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen."

God, I want so badly that these students catch the vision that you are who you say you are and that you can do what you say you can do. I want the students to dream big. I want to challenge them to pray for something and truly believe for it. Lord, I have seen you do incredible miracles in my life and I have seen it in others. And as these students are in what I like to think as an incubator, I want them to stretch their faith so that they will always have this as a milestone to look back on and be amazed at who you are and what you can truly do in their lives.

Thank you God. I am expecting this and I am so excited! I personally am expecting to see unity on our team that I never dreamt possible. Lord, take us through challenging circumstances that will bring us together, and I pray that we would not fail, but instead thrive!

I am expecting to see these teenagers lives completely turned around. That they will not return the same next Monday.

I am expecting to see atmospheres totally change in Myrtle Beach because we have been there with a clear mission to pray, intercede and let your light shine through our lives. I thank you that we have the opportunity to fulfill the great commission by being a light, a city on a hill and to bring the word to other cities.

I am expecting these students to build relationships with one another that go far beyond school work and class time. But these students are forever brothers and sisters in Christ and we choose to honor and love our brothers and sisters in the Lord. We will put one another first, and not ourselves.

Lord, I expect you to do great things through us, because we are available and we say, Lord, have your way! Your Kingdom come, and your will be done in Jesus name!!!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Shock Wave

Have you ever been separated from something or someone for so long that your time away made you a different person, but when reunited you were overwhelmed because the nature of what had been absent in your life was so different than the life you willingly chose?

I can think of many examples... friends, a loved one...

For me tonight, it wasn't a person, but a thing... the television.

I have gone without a television for so long that I don't even think about it, but tonight I watched one for 5 straight hours. And it took so much of my time and energy away. When sitting there, all I thought about were the constant messages being put out from the screen. I really think we should call them message boxes.... because that is what they are... a box that constantly delivers messages.

The thing is... as a Christian, I don't want all those messages in my mind...

yeah. Oh, Superbowl Sunday.